In recent past, I have been crunched with the struggle of claiming guardianship for my two wonderful sons. While working on some custodial papers, my eyes stopped at a line which read mine and my ex- husband names as versus. I immediately felt the pinch, my heart stopped for a while as I recalled our wedding invitation card which had our names as “with”.
I pondered the entire week on the fact that how the “with” turns into “versus” in many of the human relationships. It can be between an employee & his/her employer, husband & wife, siblings,manager & team,father & son etc. What we start to build together starts cracking and most of the times, we are deaf , mute and numb to feel the need to heal these cracks till we finally hear the loud bang of it crashing completely.
The journey from “with” to “versus” transforms us completely. A part of us dies, we find it appropriate not to trust people, we fear building relationships and as a sum of all this we knowingly or unknowingly destroy our faith. Then, with every person we meet, we have two kinds of conversations, one that we actually have and one that we think we are having.. the later being more convincing to us because its a reflection of the journey we had traveled.
You must have given all your best to a job or a relationship but in life nothing is to last forever. Life itself is temporary, so if at any point you fail; DONOT cast the shadows of your failures & tears on yourself. Learn to live for what today has to offer, not for what yesterday has taken away.
If life changes your “with” to “versus”… remember the grace, the pride, the comfort that you had enjoyed when you were with each other. The same employer whom you hate today because they did not value your efforts was once your pride. The same partner that has walked over you today was once your companion.The same manager whom you are calling bad names today was once the pulse of your team. So, if today when you are standing opposite to things or people that were once WITH you, remember to reflect your own dignity not their character .
Its only when things come to an end, we start remembering everything frame by frame and think of a 1000 different ways we would have done things differently; but then its all a theory and we can never test it. Life does’nt give us a chance to go back and edit.
The life that we all imagine of living is always so much better and so much appealing than the one that we actually live; its when we want our imagination to become the real one… that is where the equation changes. In this process, we experience different human behaviors and react , respond and make choices. We juggle our thoughts and focus our energies on something that we need more than we want.
I want you to go deeper in this analysis and you will realize that the haunted eyes of the past, challenges our future. In the journey from “with” to “versus” , never condemn yourself to the prison of a bad relationship, be it your career or personal life. Empower your soul with the enriching experiences of the past to build a promising future for yourself. Don’t let the negativity of others capture your true self. Learn not to complain but to endure your pains, your tears, your struggles, your challenges, your hardships, for they are actually carving a stronger and vibrant you and preparing you for the grand purpose that has brought you into this world.
While I pray for you all to have a life of abundance, I look across the lands & oceans and see each one of you standing tall with dignity, forgiving & mentoring others and building a pleasant future for yourself. You have no reason to feel grotty about anything or anyone. You are indeed God’s miracle.